Berlin was deafening yesterday. Everywhere you went there was the sound of people saying the word “Düsseldorf” in a heightening pitch of incredulity. First, it was said with just the innocent question mark – “Düsseldorf?” – a blissful, modest plop before the big poo of realisation lands on your head. Then the utterance was ended with a question/exclamation mark combo – “Düsseldorf?!” (This has sadly gone out of fashion in our smiley-infested times). This handsome collection was then augmented with italics – “Düsseldorf?!” until finally there was nothing else for it. Only swearing would do. “Fucking Düsseldorf?!”
A lot of the exasperation and anger was directed at Dagmar Reim, the head of Berlin’s broadcaster RBB, who voted for Düsseldorf instead of Berlin. But we shouldn’t blame her, even if she is an evil Judas, because then it emerged why Düsseldorf had been chosen.
Apparently, they offered a venue that was suitable for the event – a building that, you know, already existed, and fulfilled all those ridiculous ‘technical requirements’. Berlin offered a temporary metal shack they were going to erect on Tempelhof park. It would have had a capacity one-third of the Esprit arena in Düsseldorf. Tempelhof is a spectacular venue, but not if you just plonk a tent on it.
Obviously, Eurovision should have been put in Berlin. Eurovision will never find a more fitting home than Berlin. A four-hour procession of slightly crap, delusional but delightfully bonkers performers is a standard night-out in this town. Berlin is the European capital of amateur entertainment. Putting it in a shack in a park would have been apt, but then Dagmar Reim clearly didn’t see it that way. Bah!
