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Konrad Werner: Bi in the Bundestag

Yes! A Bundestag sex website. Of course it took an English expat, or someone who was probably an English expat, to not only tie up the complexity of Germany's parliamentary debate, but to roger it thoroughly from behind.

Image for Konrad Werner: Bi in the Bundestag
Photo by Arne List (arne.list; Flickr CC)

www.sexybundestag.de. Finally, here’s a blog that writes itself. It would be nice if it actually did, but you can’t have everything with clichés, so my cocktail-and-chocolate biscuit break will have to wait. Many people think the sexy Bundestag website is silly or pointless or even patronizing. They are probably right. The people who are wrong are the ones that say this website will “get people interested in German politics.” I doubt this.

There are many ways you can combat political apathy in today’s youth – maybe do a rap video about how cool it is to vote, or get a campaign manager drunk and watch him start a fight with the police – but lining up MPs in a big imaginary brothel where you have unlimited virtual credit is not really one of them. Another way not to get people interested in politics would be to then pair up these parliamentarians in random twos and leave you, the prospective john in this Hungarian-swimming pool style orgy, to make your mind up one at a time.

But really, sexybundestag.de does confront you with one important thing – each MP’s political party is prominently displayed, which means your decision – “Ach Ja” or “Nicht Nicht” – should be based on two criteria. Sure, you might choose the sexy girl or boy with Nazi inclinations, but you also have to come to terms with the fact that you – and you alone – have made that decision.

Also, when you do the test, you should definitely not take the option of filtering out the men or the women. That is cheating. In the interest of creating a perfectly fair league table, you should try to connect with your inner bisexual, and spend at least 15 seconds imagining sex with both the options, and then make your choice. Above are two likely lads to start you off.