Q The bloke I am seeing is very randy. He wants sex a few times a day, and it is hard to keep things exciting if you are doing the deed as much as you’re brushing your teeth, innit?
I want to give my fanny a rest and have him shoot his load in my mouth from time to time, but no matter how long I nurse it, he can never cum in my mouth. My lips are bruised at this point, and it has become a challenge. If anyone can help, I figured you could. Is there something I am missing, or can I blame this on him? Gagging-fer-it Gail
A Make sure you ask him which strokes and so on he prefers (just mouth or mouth-and-hand combo, etc.). Then I suggest holding back on the pussy for a day or two and instead of shagging him, start with the oral and go for it. As in, if you shag him a couple of times daily, it could take hours before he would have enough spunk left over for your mouth. If you starve him for a day, THEN just offer your mouth: BINGO. Milkshake. Note: you could even ask him to refrain from wanking for one whole day for an even bigger explosion.
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Q I am a divorced, mature lady living here in Berlin. I was happily and highly sexual when younger, yet over the last 20 years my libido has gradually slowed. Affection and touch, sex too, are part of a healthy existence, and I welcome more, more, more (to paraphrase the Rocky Horror Picture Show).
Presently, I am between lovers. No, I’m not that lucky – I don’t have a lover to my left and my right, or over and under me, at the moment, LOL. Nope, in fact I’ve got no one in bed at all.
It is hard (no pun intended) for me to find a lover now. I have salt ‘n’ pepper hair, mid-fifties. I live at a gentle pace, and I’d like a friend with benefits who matches well. You could say I’m discerning at this point in life.
I’ve been socializing with a gentleman for three months going. We were in bed one night at a weekend retreat, and we touched for an hour or two in pleasurable sensual discovery mode, but we did not have any penetration or oral and neither of us came. Still. It was heady. Well, my dear Dr. Dot, this is as far as we’ve come (again, no pun intended) in months. I’m frustrated.
We have talked about it and made a verbal agreement for now, “no sex”. We still like one another and we see each other at dances once or twice a week; we talk and our sense of touch feels personal and true. When we hug, it is real; our dulcet tones of voice and natural magnetism evince an apparent compatibility, but no go.
The love interest told me that he has a crush on someone in his field of work who lives in another state. But he admitted that it may not ever come to pass and noted that some day it is possible that he and I may grow into a different phase than the one we are in now.
I can relate to this oddness, as I myself have had such an adult crush on someone in my field. In fact it lasted years, with my dear heart beating for what wasn’t and could never be (paraphrasing Led Zeppelin). I got over it. In hindsight, I see it as an illness of a kind.
Today, the bee is swirling around honey, but no sting! I could drop the idea cold; move on… but he is handsome, and a 15-year friend. I’d welcome passing this impasse. What is your suggestion? Salt ‘n’ Peppa
A Two things about getting older: (1) you should feel more comfortable in your skin and (2) understand time is extremely important and should not be wasted. If he was petting you for a full hour and did not try to get his leg over, whilst telling you he has a crush on someone else, it clearly means he just wants to remain friends. Touchy friends.
If I were you I would pursue other options, as this guy has his mind set on another. Perhaps give it one more whirl, and if he doesn’t go for the gold…. NEXT. “Time waits for no one” – The Rolling stones
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Q I am one of those men who have a big heart. Breaking a woman’s heart seems to be the most difficult thing in the world for me. I guess I am a freak in that sense. I have been involved with a woman for a year now (we had to get married as she is from Russia and marriage was the only way we could stay together here in Berlin). I am extremely bored of her now and miss my freedom, but she is so sweet and kind to me, I just don’t have it in me to tell her it’s over. She once told me if I left her she would kill herself. I really feel like i’m in a love jail. “I want to break free” Hilf Doc, please. Suffocated Stefan
A Two ideas came to me while reading your email. The first one was to write her a letter and tell her politely you have turned gay and need to start pursuing penis from now on (or just tell her, “It’s not you, it’s me. I need to be alone”).
Second idea is to just start being a raging prick to her. Leave a mess behind you constantly for her to clean, hit on her best friend, stay out after work (don’t even come home for a day or two and keep your mobile off), start watching porn and sleeping on the couch, and if she complains or asks about it, tell her you’re finally comfortable enough to let the “real you” come out.
These are both great ways to get rid of a woman. This way you will not be leaving her – she will have to leave you. If she keeps hanging on, turn up the asshole-dial a few notches.
