Whips cracking, chains clanking and latex chafing punctuated by pained groans and lustful moans: that’s the ambient noise at Klub Verboten (“forbidden”), a queer-friendly BDSM and fetish party series, founded by Karl and his partner in 2016 in London. Two years ago, the event moved to Berlin.
Now in its seventh year, the fortnightly Verboten parties in Germany and the UK are frequented by hundreds of passionate “perverts”, as community members are called, taking over the plentiful playgrounds conceived and created by the Verboten team.
I consider myself a pervert in the first instance, maybe a fetishist in the second.
Slings, shibari rigging, glory holes, cages, dark corners, wet rooms, and soft furniture provide plenty of room and opportunity for horny partygoers to let their creative (and other) juices flow, while a trained safeguarding team supervises the action.
Despite abounding hedonism, Klub Verboten’s mission is not just a self-indulgent one. With a catalogue of airtight rules and regulations laying the foundation for a space in which people can feel safe enough to make their wildest fantasies reality, Verboten aims to destigmatise kink and fetish practices languishing in the underground.
In the pursuit of pleasure, the party series explores the possibilities of physical human interaction while pushing the boundaries of social norms – but they don’t tolerate anyone who violates their rules and carefully examine every single person seeking access to their spaces.
Ahead of the big anniversary party at Club OST, we sit down with Karl to discuss the continuous fight for the right to be kinky, why Berlin isn’t quite the sex-positive Mecca it claims to be, and what this Friday’s fetishfest will hold for the 800 people attending.
Congratulations on 7 years of Klub Verboten! Do you remember what the very first party was like?
(Laughs) Mega odd. It’s quite fashionable these days, like ‘Oh, we do a party, we save the world, and we change our political circumstances’ and whatnot. It was not like that, we just wanted to throw a sex party. It was 70 people shagging everywhere. That was it (laughs). Someone was brave enough to give us an opportunity and a chance, and it was absolutely wild.
What has changed since then?
The volume of people. Looking after 70 people is one thing, but putting yourself out there, being torn apart by the propagandist press puts you in a whole other light. That means your safeguarding measures must be on a different level, [and] that puts a lot of mental stress on us in the lead up to the event. That is the one thing that really changed, but on the inside, I think we manage to stay true to what we initially set out for: making things a little bit more contemporary, but at the same time also carrying on this value, this goodness of the BDSM and fetish scene.
What have been some challenges you faced over the years?
Too many! (laughs) At times, you think the entire universe is against this event. There is, at least in the UK, a very conservative political landscape; you have certain licensing frameworks, and sometimes there’s also a very stubborn, very retro mindset that prevents things from moving forward. You are not [protected] from being dragged to court by a super entitled person that didn’t get into the event, despite not knowing the rules. You’re not [protected] from the local authorities willing to put you in prison – yeah, that almost happened. So it’s been a hell of a journey up to here.
How did you manage to keep going?
Honestly, the only way is just to not give up. I think the motivation [is], although you get a lot of hate mail and upset ticket holders, you also get a lot of people that say, ‘Hey, look! I met this person at this event, and we had this spanking session and guess what, we’re married now!’ You get all these glorious moments, where real life and humanity are celebrated. And in the darkest moments, that helps. When you think this is it, financially and from a legal standpoint, but then you think, no, there is something very human here, that should go on.
There must be something very rewarding about providing these kinds of spaces, to be able to give that to people, and them in turn, being able to explore their sexuality…
There’s this battle in everyone, right? Let’s say you’re curious about your sexuality or certain practices, where do you even begin? First, you’re probably going to lose a couple of friends, then you’re going to upset your parents, and then you’re still alone with that problem. Things are obviously getting better; there’s educators out there, there’s blogs, more resources, apps. That wasn’t quite the case six, seven years ago. So as an individual, you still go on this journey of having to discover yourself, and with the right environment with loads of people that are on a similar path, it gets a little easier. And a bit more fun.
You’ve been running the series in Berlin for two years now. Why did you decide to move the event here, and have you noticed any differences between London and Berlin?
Quick disclaimer: these are my opinions. Anyone that reads this can have their own opinion and you should, that’s completely cool (laughs). Hopefully, no one’s gonna get upset about this, but I think now there’s something missing in Berlin. And I’ve seen it in London. I’ve seen over seven years how people walked into an event space and were loners and two events down the line, [they] had 30, 40 odd friends, and they went to this play session and this shibari lesson and this orgy and [so on].
They developed this asset of pleasure that is shared in the community, and they protect and cherish and develop it. I found going out in Berlin, there’s something else here that’s also equally good, but it’s different. I think Berlin is at its peak point of partying, rave, techno culture. And London may be at its peak right now of BDSM fetish.
For some people, community is hundreds of thousands of people resonating together on a dance floor. But for other people, there is shared community value if you have an orgy with 40 people (laughs). Both of them are okay. But I think this is where those two cities differ a lot. Berlin really knows how to party. London knows how to fuck. Techno, rave culture is not going to go, no one’s taking this away from you. But opening up to this idea that we’ve seen in London, that can add another layer to this palette.
Would you say there’s a definitive difference between Klub Verboten and, say, KitKatClub or Ficken 3000? It’s interesting to think about where Verboten is situated in the Berlin nightlife scene because many people see Berlin as this incredibly open-minded place, one of a kind in the world, where you can really explore your sexuality. But what I’m hearing from you is almost the opposite…
Berlin really knows how to party. London knows how to fuck.
I’ll give you my very own view. This isn’t the club’s view, this is my view as someone who also still goes out. I consider myself a pervert in the first instance, maybe a fetishist in the second, and after that, there’s everything else in life I guess. And I feel out of place if I’m the only person in latex among 1000 people. I feel out of place if I’m the only gimp in a venue. I feel out of place if there’s no sex in a sex-positive space. A lot of people may judge me and not everyone is having sex or playing all the time, I get that. But we also need to cater for perverts. That’s what we do in London. That’s what we want to do here. And that hasn’t been done to the max.
What we do is we put at the very forefront this ability to discover and explore yourself and others in a relatively risk-mitigated space with the contribution of contemporary furniture and machines and things. Klub Verboten is a fully-kitted gym. Sex-positive raves in Berlin are a yoga studio (laughs). There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re just trying to add something that I feel, for me as a pervert, as an individual in this sea of sex-positiveness is absolutely missing.
What’s your experience when it comes to finding suitable venues in both cities?
Both difficult, but for different reasons. In London, you tell people what you do, and the first question is, ‘Is that legal?’ And in Berlin, and here’s myth versus reality again, you either find a techno club and they’re like, ‘Oh, yeah, we have a dark basement with a mattress we got from eBay Kleinanzeigen.’ And we’re like, ‘Uh, that’s not quite what we’re after.’ Or you find a very nice and neat place, and they’re like, ‘We know the Berliners, they fuck everywhere that they take Ketamine. No, we can’t give you the space.’
I find that actually more difficult. To fight a conservative government is partly fun and rewarding venue management. But what argument do you have against someone that says ‘I paid a lot of money for this place, I don’t want you to cum all over it.’ (laughs) And also, there’s only so much we can build and do in eight hours. We transform spaces, but I can’t dehumidify a dark basement.
For people who attend, is there an obligation to participate in the sex?
Not at all. There’s plenty of spaces that we purposely build for people to rest or provide some aftercare to each other after a play session, or to just meet each other because ultimately, that social aspect is crucial for everything that may or may not happen thereafter. In London, there’s a lot of people that just come to the events for that environment. There’s people that actually never ever play at our events, and they’ve come for years. And that’s massively appreciated, because that’s a huge chunk of the community as well.
You say this Friday’s party will be the biggest play space ever seen at Klub Verboten. Can you give us a glimpse of what that might look like?
We have two and a half playrooms, split across various levels of the building. One will be dedicated to BDSM impact play, so anything that may hurt a little, and fetish-related play. In that room, you will see lots of spanking benches and things like that. But we also bring in educators to introduce people to practices and to answer questions, so anyone will be able to use the space. We also have something called the orgy loft, a room that sees a little more of soft furniture and a layout that provides privacy but also allows us to interlink with other groups and people in a hopefully most consensual way. We provide our safeguarding team, but we also have people on site that can just give a hand.
We’ve only run small locations for the last year, that didn’t enable us to do all the production that we’re used to. We generally spend 8-10 hours with about 10-12 people and transform a space visually entirely in terms of alignment, shadows, lighting, fixtures, and so on. I don’t wanna give away too much, but the difference to the small events is that we have the space for our ideas now. I can only say you will not recognise [Club OST].
One of the educators will be the award-winning dominatrix Eva Oh. How important is this kind of professional guidance, and what does it look like?
To most people, it is very daunting to attend the first events and step into a room like, okay, there’s all these obstacles here and I’m half naked. There’s so many things pacing through your mind. I think having someone there that initiates scenarios, gives guidance and support that a safeguarding team can’t necessarily do, that can be crucial. We tried it out in London; for Berlin it’s the first time. And I’m super happy that Eva is there because she is one of the persons with the most expertise globally.
But isn’t it also quite intimidating to have a professional dominatrix tell you how you should have sex?
100%. It can be daunting, but the space is so big, you can just go 10 metres in the other direction, and you have privacy. The room is set up for that. But at the same time, when you go bouldering, and you don’t manage to do another step on a certain wall, people also jump in and say ‘Hey, put your hand there and do this.’ I think there are parallels between these two worlds. Maybe that’s also why so many people who do BDSM are climbers (laughs).
Earlier, you said you consider yourself a pervert, and Klub Verboten calls itself “pro-pervert”. What does the term mean to you?
Pervert is a self-certifying term. It’s a word that actually has a negative weight to it, and we reclaim it in a way. And I think part of that is, when you go to the events and you’re in this community for a while, your threshold lowers in terms of your shame barriers. For myself at least, there was a really good process in which you just start owning your natural attributes, and then life becomes a bit more positive and easy. So when we say it’s a pro-pervert space, we’re not saying there’s only professional Doms and experts in their practice. It’s a dedicated space for people that want to go on this journey, or that feel out of place in other spaces. So again, for us, the most important thing is to cater for these practices and people with thoughts that might not necessarily have understanding in the world above ground.
Consent is one of Verboten’s core values. Can you talk a bit about your policies and safeguarding measures?
Safeguarding is our key focus throughout. It’s absolutely paramount. And it’s not only achieved by hanging up a poster, or writing something in your event description, it’s more of a process that ranges from a strong and serious and truthful vetting process at the door, to the rules that we implement, to the safeguarding team, and so on.
I think it’s only achieved if at least half of the people in the building carry a little bit of that ethos. I’m not talking about bystander intervention, or people looking out for each other because in the real world, that never really happens. I’m talking about people taking ownership of their own play and their own activities by adhering to those rules pre, mid and post play scenarios. We take the rules very seriously, because we think they’re basic. It sounds daunting and complex, but with a little bit of effort, it’s totally manageable.
With BDSM, how do you navigate the tightrope walk between safeguarding and interrupting? I can imagine it’s difficult to tell if something has gone wrong with impact play.
There’s a huge palette of situations where things can derail. And they’re not always entirely wrong or entirely derailed. But with expertise and experience – over seven years, we’ve seen hundreds of thousands of people play – you get an eye for it. Our safeguarding team certainly has that. They are there to monitor those situations and step in at any given point. We can’t protect everyone from everything. But I’m 100% certain that we do the utmost.
So, in short, who is the party for?
We want to see some more rubber and leather. We’re ultra keen to see or give space and room to more complex play scenarios, involving multiple people and sub-dom relationships and so on. I think that is really what we want to see. That sounds so demanding, but it’s not! This is a shout out to anyone that has felt a bit out of place for displaying such things, for anyone that has ever been on the ground trying to lick some dry cum off the floor and being looked at funny. Come to Klub Verboten!
And who do you not recommend attend?
Anyone that doesn’t understand a no. Do not attend if you do not understand the difference between yes and no. And that sounds silly, but once in a while I see this, and that starts at the door. If you do not understand the importance of “no”, if you can’t accept a no, if you’re someone who has to negotiate a no into a yes – and I really do mean that – do not attend.
Looking ahead, what are your wildest hopes and dreams for Klub Verboten?
Oh, that’s a big question. I just hope that in this sea of sex-positiveness of Berlin, people will understand what we do. And let it be. For me, this is the only important thing. I just want to do our little thing. That’s it. And it would be interesting to also see this journey that we had in London, here in Berlin, and see where it can lead to.
- VII Klub Verboten x Berlin, Club OST, Sep 1, Alt-Stralau 1-2, Friedrichshain, tickets available here.
