True story: he drank nine cocktails in two hours, cried about his ex, then asked to split the bill at the end of the night. If you’ve woken up to regrets from a boozy date, believe me, you’re not alone. We’ve all done it: indulged in a drunken kiss, followed by a drunken fumble and woken up with a hangover, asking ourselves if we even liked this person.
Sobriety might well reduce the number of shots you take with people (literally), but it also keeps us in the moment.
It’s soul-bearing: this is me – take it or leave it. “In the past, when I was drinking, it would have made me drunk-flirty,” my friend Leo tells me (he’s been sober for 18 months). “Now I’m a bit more shy and have to push myself out of my comfort zone.” If you’re finding it a challenge to meet someone new without the crutch of a cold beer, all it takes is thinking outside the box. There’s more to dating than smoky bars; this way, you’ll have a good story and a clear head the next morning.
HAVE A LAUGH
If you, like me, can be laughed into bed, your best bet is to test your date’s sense of humour by having a first date at a comedy show. Crack up on a boat at The Laughing Spree, chuckle and gasp at The Wall Comedy or gorge and giggle as you chomp down a cheeky slice of free pizza at Cosmic Comedy. Just pray that the host doesn’t single you out and ask, “So who are you here with?” There’s nothing like laughter to break the ice. In fact, I once got set up on a date at a comedy show. At the end of the night, the host read out questions the audience had submitted, and unbeknownst to me, my friend wrote asking if the guy in the front row wanted to go on a date with me (he agreed!).
GET PHYSICAL
I, for one, am always keen to ‘take the car for a test drive’ as soon as possible. That means sweat, stamina and balls are always on the menu. That’s where sports come into play. Berlin is full of opportunities for a summer workout. Join a running club or play a game of Padel and debrief afterwards with an overpriced avo on toast. I recently met a woman who met her partner at a local running club four months after moving to Berlin. My eye twitched at the ease with which some people find a partner, but going to events where you connect with people IRL is a sure way to make lasting connections.
BREAK A SWEAT
It’s the age-old question: how many dates do we wait to get naked? Before clothes come off, bodies get wet, the window steams up as sweat drips into crevices you never knew you had? Getting your sweat on at Vabali is a sure path to an unforgettable first date. It took me years to get used to Berlin saunas (chalk that up to Irish guilt about public nudity), but I wanted to impress a German guy I’d been dating, so I agreed to a Vabali date. I hadn’t anticipated the long silences, but he hadn’t anticipated my ease of jumping into an ice bath without hesitation. Sometimes, you just have to take the plunge.
SKATE ON BY
Don’t underestimate the seduction of a sunset roller skate at Tempelhofer Feld. I had a first date with a man once who rolled up wearing a pink cowboy hat, leggings and skiing goggles. His eclectic style was paired with a picnic blanket and snacks. And don’t get me started on the time I went to a roller disco at S036 with a French breakdancing champion… Pairing activities with disco music, laughter and falling on your bum trumps sitting at a bar with a list of getting-to-know-you questions – save that for pillow talk.
