If the title of Lucy Huxley’s podcast – The Whore’s Bedroom – doesn’t tip you off as to its X-rated content, then her sunny intro to each episode will: “Hi, I’m Lucy Huxley,” she announces, “and I’m a whore.” At the heart of this engaging pod, which first aired in April of this year, lies Huxley’s eight years of experience as a sex worker, from working as a stripper and porn actor to her current job as a Berlin-based escort earning “five figures a month”.
Most stories about sex workers in the media are written by non-sex workers.
Whether discussing the legal status of sex work, or describing how a two-hour booking with a client might play out (more talking than sex, apparently), Huxley’s tone is frank and fun with a steely core. Unlike over on TikTok, where Huxley chats with her 70,000-plus followers while dabbing concealer on her chin and unboxing Amazon deliveries (at times racking up millions of views), Huxley uses her podcast to respond to the clichés clinging to sex work.
“Most stories about sex workers in the media are written by non-sex workers, and they’re not really great representations of us,” she says. “A lot of sex workers don’t have the privilege to speak publicly about their work because it can affect their future employment or they don’t want their family to find out. They may be working in a place where it’s illegal and they could be arrested if they speak about it publicly. But I have that privilege to be able to speak about it publicly, so I want to share what I can.”
A classically-trained ballet dancer from Canada, Huxley cheerfully admits that her own entry into the world of sex work – a quick stint as a sugar baby followed by live webcamming with her then-boyfriend – was not rigorously thought through: “I mean, I was 20, my prefrontal cortex wasn’t exactly developed.”
“At the time, I was like, well, I’m working as a ballet dancer, no one’s gonna fire me. It’s not like I’m working in a kindergarten. I just kind of thought, if someone does judge me for it, then fuck them, I don’t want to be friends with them anyway.”
As listeners of The Whore’s Bedroom know, that insouciance is still very much at play eight years later, but Huxley’s thinking is a lot more nuanced. She’s had to negotiate episodes like an ex’s father hunting down her porn work online and a love interest saying, “I could never be with someone who has to do what you do,” along with institutional prejudice such as a German bank refusing to open an account for her and a ban on entering the United States (sex workers are often refused entry at the border).
“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realise the implications of having [porn] on the internet forever, and how that might affect my life. I think, what if I want to have kids one day, how might it affect their life? What if I change careers and want to do something that is regarded as more serious by society?” Huxley says. “Also, I’ve realised I don’t have control over it. That is one of the biggest gripes I have with the porn industry: once we do these videos, we have no control over our image in any way.”
I’m interested in learning about people via sex. I believe that sex is valuable, even sacred.
Huxley’s podcast and socials, where she is 100% in the driver’s seat, are her way of taking back control. A natural on social media, where she evades Instagram and Tiktok’s bans on sex worker accounts by referring to her profession as “a 304” (a rhyme) and her acting work as “corn”, her podcast and social media content is driven as much by a deep pride in her work as it is by a desire to educate. “I’m an extrovert, and working as an escort, I get to meet all sorts of people I would never interact with in my daily life … This summer, I got to go on a trip with a group of millionaires, and seeing how they live and getting that first-class experience was super interesting.”
“I also have a very exploratory attitude to sex, and I’m interested in learning about people via sex. I believe that sex is valuable, even sacred. A lot of people can’t understand how I can be a sex worker and view sex like that, but valuing it doesn’t mean I have to be puritanical or stingy about it,” Huxley adds.
On The Whore’s Bedroom, the 28-year-old is always quick to acknowledge that her experience as a so-called “high end” escort is a privileged one, not least because her friends and family know what she does professionally. “At the beginning, there were times when they maybe felt a bit uncomfortable with it, but they’ve always been very willing to listen to me and to change their perspective on things.” Her mom, she adds, listens to her podcast.
Still, the online comments she finds most wearying are not the ones calling her “a disgusting whore” or “shameless” but those which rob her of her agency. “You know, if I talk about my experiences being a very privileged sex worker, I get criticism from people saying 97% of sex workers aren’t like you. Your experience isn’t the norm and you actually don’t know what you’re talking about. But that’s really just another way of minimising sex worker voices,” she says. “It’s either, ‘Oh, you’re too privileged to understand what it’s actually like to be a sex worker’, or if a sex worker is very underprivileged, then they’re told they have too many mental health issues and are too much of a victim to be able to speak for themselves and their community. They’re both ways of silencing us.”
- Listen to The Whore’s Bedroom wherever you get your podcasts.
