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Seymour Gris: Kreuzberg vs. Christmas

The War on Christmas has arrived here in Germany! Specifically (and where else?) in Kreuzberg. Seymour Gris explores another supposed decline in western civilisation.

Image for Seymour Gris: Kreuzberg vs. Christmas
Photo by Angela Monika Arnold, Berlin (Wikimedia Commons)

Hey folks, the Christmas market season is kicking off and, this year more than ever, it’s gonna be a Gutmensch-Weihnachten!

If you’re not familiar with the term “Gutmensch“, this word is a favourite among online trolls when they describe those politically correct do-gooders who want to transform the world into a tree-hugging, gender-neutral anti-Christian dictatorship where all food is vegan-halal and from which gendered pronouns have been banished forever.

If you’re to believe Gunnar Schupelius, writing in tabloid B.Z., these people are gaining the upper hand, and Kreuzberg, Germany’s Gutmensch command centre, is now holding a “Wintermarkt“! That’s right, a Wintermarkt (winter market) and not a Weihnachstsmarkt (Christmas market)!

“This market also speaks to the people who don’t place so much value upon all that Christmas hype,” market spokesperson Ines Schilgen was quoted as saying.

Gott im Himmel, what’s next? The gays, Islamists and communists of Kreuzberg are of course jumping up and down in joy about this victory! The queer-communist-caliphate is coming soon! Exclusively with regional bio-products! Hurrah.

If you’re a Gutmensch like me, you can find out more information about the Wintermarkt here. But the truly hardcore Gutmenschen can take it one level higher at the veggie-vegan Green Christmas Market at Arena! Exberliner will be there on Sunday! See you there.

Happy Advent!