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  • Jail: A lifestyle choice


Jail: A lifestyle choice

When is jail not really so bad? When your entire cell is one giant bed. Walter Crasshole finds the best place to handcuff yourself, or someone you don't want to let go.

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What follows a bad run-in with die Polizei? Well, jail, of course. Which can be a bummer – unless you’re one of the (probably many) Berliners who get a kick out of that kind of thing. There’s no need for a “Get Out of Jail Free” card with the Jailhouse Fuck bed by Noodles Noodles & Noodles: this natural-steel prison-bar-style bed frame comes complete with a pair of Smith & Wesson handcuffs for the naughty.

Noodles Noodles & Noodles coyly claims the bed is aimed at the design-minded rather than the S & M-obsessed, but co-creator Kristyan Geyr’s promo shots of nubile women in masks and fishnets have “Venus in Furs” written all over them. Lady Gaga would love it.

The company, founded 20 years ago by Geyr, Wolfgang Ahlers and André Reitemeyer, has taken the industrial chic of the original Jailhouse Fuck bed and applied it to lockers, shelves, tables and other pieces of extremely solid mostly-steel made furniture made with simple restraint. Its showroom also showcases Geyr’s photography on flatscreen monitors: shopping is indeed an experience.